Not your family

Franco Caramanico

12 Jul 2025 — 1 min read

Your coworkers are not your family.

At least not in the way I think of family. To me, family is about unconditional love.At work, we have conditions — and we need them. They’re what make professional relationships sustainable and fair.

Some of the best times in my career were when I worked with real friends — not just “work friends,” but actual friends. I’ve been to their weddings. I’ve traveled with them across Europe. Our families spent Christmas Eve together. I carry a lot of those memories in my heart.

But at work, we were coworkers. We kept each other accountable. We had hard conversations. I even put one of them on a performance plan. It was brutal — for both of us. And we’re still close friends. Why? Because we understood the context. We knew when we were wearing the friend hat, and when it was time to put on the professional hat.

As Ben Horowitz writes, “The hard thing about hard things is that you still have to do them” — especially when it involves someone you really care about.

Your coworkers are not your family. But you can build relationships rooted in trust, respect, and even love — conditional love, the kind that holds people to a standard because you care.

Don’t confuse roles. Don’t blur lines. They are not your family.

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